quick takes: 7news - 10/29/2009 - 15 points

victoria block - on the scene for the mgh doctor stabbing press conference at the suffolk county DA's office.  hey 7 news, how about getting miz block a heap of mid 80's penthouse soft focus.  good gravy.  well, it is close to halloween.  (-15 scary points)

frances rivera - the fine filipino says "breast specific gamma imaging" and looks fantastic doing so. (15 points)

crista delcamp - says "breast imaging" but has trouble pronouncng "gamma". (5 points)
<< editor's note: anchored2tv could not find anything on the web about christa being pregnant.  if she's not, well...oops. >> 

john boehner - seems like a real prick and a half. (- 5 points)


victoria warren - assault at harvard.  vicky at the harvard campus.  nice autumn day...you know the drill.  (10 points)

byron barnett - good report on deval patrick and the budget presented in his voice that sounds like a slow record player. (5 points)

***

off topic - tonya (real world/road rules) "the ruins" is batshit insane and it's a shame she got kicked off for punching the buxom cuban veronica...repeatedly.   tonya on camera is like a manny ramirez at-bat - you  have to watch it.

quick takes: wbz - 10/29/2009 - 20 points

paula ebben - dr. fever is a big fan.  i'm starting to come around on ebben.  she and wade seem to have a bit of chemistry and there is that rack. (10 points)

david wade - commenting on the prospect of jon gosselin and octomom getting together to appear on a new reality show, "just hearing about that show i feel a little dumber." (10 points)

quick takes: 7news - 10/28/2009 - 60 points

christa delcamp: i'll tell you - it has been one hot pregnancy for christa.  her red dress makes her look like a yummy red wrapped lindt truffle.  unfortunately, on this day she pronounces U2 with the emphasis on the U (You-too) much like ESPN anchors pronounce UMass "U-mass".  (15 points for the hot hot hot pregnancy) 

matt lorch: apparently matt is the king of the arcane adam sandler fact.  in discussing the upcoming adam sandler flick where he dresses like a woman - matt pulls a quick reference to sandler's SNL Gap Girls sketch out of his ass. (5 points)

victoria warren: there are few sights as beautiful as vicky with a new england autumn as a backdrop.  give vicky a stand up in front of an old covered bridge and i will die happy.  i want to give her a thermos of hot chocolate and rumplemintz and a big fat doobie.  then we'd go for a walk in the woods while tossing sticks to a black lab.  uh, where was i?  today's footage includes her interviewing a guy while she's sitting on a sofa.  from this angle vicky's trailer looks just right. (15 relieved points)

frances rivera: the fine filipino in a dark brown leather dress.  oh, yes. (25 points)

Is this Heaven?

Thank you Channel 7 for putting the all-star team on the morning news today. Anne Allred, Dylan Dryer and filling in for Adam Williams the underrated Sorboni Banerjee. Throw in a live report from Nicole Oliverio and it's a perfect show. All I need now is a story on the New Solid Gold Dancers and this day would take up an entire page in my journal.

living large with mish the dish

here's a boston.com photo gallery of mish michaels's condo.

Quick Takes mid day 10/21/09

A new Dylan Dryer-ish hair style for Vicki Block. She looks like Mr. Lowry's mom in the movie Brazil. (minus 10 points)

I agree with Anchorman.  Why is Susan Wornick is still on the mid-day news? She is creeper than a life size marionette puppet. (minus 15)

The Channel 4 news set looks like a rejected design for a Sprint Store. (minus 5)

quick takes: wbz - 10/20/2009 - 75 points

jack williams - he's jack williams, dammit.  (35 dignified points)

lisa hughes - lisa - me love you long time - going way back to your reports from ground zero immediately after 9/11.

in lisa's 9/11 reports, she demonstrated a special blend of poise, focus and appropriate reverence.  her more casual look during these reports was a revelation.  as dr. fever indicated in a recent post - lisa conveys a knowledge and understanding of what's she's reading and her banter with the rest of the anchor desk is always natural, informed and comfortable.      

i have collected 5 autographs in my life.  my autographed picture of lisa hughes is the only one that is not from a touring pornstar...or ron jeremy.  on it she wrote: thanks for watching.

no lisa, thank you.  (40 poised points)

mother and son picking and eating poisonous mushrooms - what idiots.  leave the mushrooms to dr. fever and sarah wrobeleski in an army surplus tent at the base of mt. monadnock..    (-10 points for stupidity).

piling on the balloon dad continues (10 points)

Quick Takes 10/20/09 WBZ 4

Why is Bill Shields doing fluff stories about Bridgewater Fire Dept making coping with their 09 budget? Getting a used truck from Millis and parts from a broken down truck. Yeah, I understand the comment on the current state of the state. But really? Come on Bill. You're better than that. (minus 5)

Alright, Lisa Hughes with your transition from weather to sports. The "I really thought Joey Galloway would work out" comment makes me think you've spent a few Sundays on the couch with a D'Angelo's #9 sub and few Bud pounders. (plus 10)

quick takes: wvcb - 10/19/2009 - 15 points

hello, chaquita?  are you missing a giant talking banana?  oh, wait.  i'm sorry, it's just heather unruh in the most frightening yellow suit.  (- 15 points).

woe is wornick

i think that in these days of increased internet bandwidth, a need to cut office space/real estate costs as well as easier remote access to work related technology systems - there is a corresponding increase in those who work from home.  i also think that the disposable income of these telecommuters is desired by many advertisers.

with an opportunity to go after this growing premium audience, it mystifies me as to why wcvb would keep susan wornick at the anchor desk.  if the midday news audience was still largely made up of the elderly and those who simply given up - i wouldn't care all that much.  however, while working from home today i tuned to wcvb for the afternoon news - saw susan wornick's face  and switched to 7 news a split second later.

what's 7 news' competition to wornick? anne allred in this nifty black number with a kinda bondage thing going on around her neck.  jesus loves you, anne allred. 

get with the program wcvb.

Yes he does

Here is a text I got from a friend this weekend: "I just saw Larry Ridley do the Sports. He really does masturbate his script during his report."

Yes he does. I just can't believe nobody has told him this. Or why can't Larry realize he is giving a hand job to a rolled up piece of paper? Please Larry watch the film and find a new crutch.

Smile

Ten points to Channel 7 for giving Nicole Oliverio the Pats crushing win story. She even threw out a smile or two. That makes one or two on the year. (10 points)

quick takes: wbz - 10/17/2009 20 points

ken macleod: a nice geek - but a geek nonetheless.  he tells wrobeleski he forgot the pats were playing tomorrow - even though it's the story he's about to tease and is a major chunk of his station's programming tomorrow.  ken, get some jack williams lessons.  (-10 points)

sarah wrobeleski:  i'm pretty sure this is a girl who refers to beers as "bevvies" and is no stranger to the term "brick shithouse".  she was born to say "nor'easteh".  holy shit.  (10 points)  

balloon kid's crazy dad: criminal charges expected.  thank fucking goodness. (15 points)

adopted son saves adopted mother with kidney transplant.  (10 points)

kathryn brown (cbs new york): has a story on pakistan starting to go after the taliban.  how did kathryn get a network job in nyc what that nose? (-5 points)

Oh please oh please oh please.

If the reports are true, and I pray to all Gods they are, then Kim Carrigan is out at Fox Mornings. Praise be!! If she is holding out for more money then she has a very bad agent. She should take free bagels on Fridays and parking. I can't imagine she gets invites to Gene's house for any of his summer BBQs. This town needs some new talent in the mornings. When one stations brings in a new hottie from the Florida minor leagues it forces all other stations, except Chanel 5 for some unknown reason, to step up their games. Just as long as Anne Allred is always there when I wake up.

Huffing isn't all bad

So after our weekly meeting at the Anchored2tv penthouse Anchorman posted his findings to many improtant Gail Huff questions. Let me also give my answers.

1. Was Huff hot back in the day? Unquestionably YES! It doesn't take A Digney Fignus or even a Dexy Midnight Runner to see that in the 80s Gail Huff was top shelf hott. Were she that age in the 2000s she would be a reality TV star and be working at Fox 25.

2. Is Huff currently hot? Absolutely not! If time heals all wounds, then it also creates a few new ones.

3. If tonight you saw her alone in a bar, how many drinks would it take before you put on the full court press? Well if it were beer-72. CC and Ginger-32. Martinis-27. Jello shots-1527. Jameson shots- 65 (I have a natural tolerance to Jameson). I could go on but in any category, I would reach the point of having my stomach pumped first.

4. How will the Curious Hand story affect your watching of Huff reports in the future?- Well it does make her seem somewhat fun and human. As her reports now are devoid of emotion or human reaction. I know reporters should be objective and cold but its nice to see a glimpse of a soul every now and then. In the end it will confuse me more.

5. Is the Crunch Wrap Supreme the perfect eating while driving food? Oh yeah it is. Its good to go. The Taco Bell kitchen scientists are some of the most underrated researchers in the world. Six ingredients and still they come up with new foods. They must be from M.I.T.

6. Why can't Broken Lizard recapture the magic of Super Troopers? I keep hoping so. But all movies after ST are really bad. Alright Beerfest was OK. But its like when you see your friend's band. You force yourself to like them even when they are bad.The one constant bright spot is the always money Kevin Heffernan who played Officer Farva in ST. Even in the Dukes of Hazard he was good and that movie was horrible. So they've done what any group does when they are out of ideas, they are making a sequel of their only good film. Super Troopers 2 due out in 2011. Oh the humanity.

carrigan out at fox 25? not yet...

the herald's jessica heslam (yummy) has a story on kim carrigan moving some boxes out of fox25 on the day her current contract expired.

i agree with dr. fever - fox 25 needs to add some eye candy to the morning news.  note to management: jodi applegate is not considered "eye candy".

and i'll Huff....and i'll puff...

wow!

yesterday we were in lockdown crisis mode at the blog after the gail huff/digney fignus story broke.  the anchored2tv team called an all night emergency session in the opulent anchored2tv offices to review the "curious hand" video and the somewhat limited youtube archive of huff reports.  we also watched "super troopers" and did some jello shots.  i woke up around 4 this morning on the floor of gerald's office with my cheek stuck to a half eaten crunchwrap supreme.   

the points debated were:

* was huff hot back in the day?
* is huff currently hot?
* if tonight you saw her alone in a bar, how many drinks would it take before you put on the full court press to get her back to your place?
* how will the curious hand story affect your watching of huff reports in the future?

also discussed were:

* is the crunchwrap supreme the perfect eating while driving food?
* why can't broken lizard recapture the magic of super troopers?


while i will not share the opinions of the rest of the anchored2tv team (that's up to them), here were my contributions to the debate:

* was huff hot?

are you kidding me? most definitely.  i call your attention specifically to 1:31, 2:02, 2:15, 3:07 and 3:20 in the "curious hand" video:




* is huff currently hot?  

no - but not from lack of effort.  as i have written previously - she is putting up a good fight against father time but gravity is not her friend.  below is the report of gail participating in a navy seal fitness test back in 2007:



not hot - but not bad either.  a good ass is the toughest thing to maintain.  her sit ups at 0:24, chin ups at 0:55 and a bouncy run 'round the track at 0:58 are quite flattering.  the rear shot at 1:21 is not.


* how many drinks until i would make the full court press? 

my guess is 11 cc and gingers (and a divorce or two)...and she would have to be one of the more attractive women left in the bar.  maybe it would be at the end of a good wedding reception after one too many manhattans.

* how will the curious hand story affect your watching of huff reports in the future?

after watching the "curious hand" video approximately 10 times in last night's emergency session (and another 30 times at work) - i will be viewing future huff reports in a different light.  for one thing, the next time she gets shelby scott duty in worcester in the middle of a nor'easter, i will be looking carefully to see if she can melt the snow around her with the fleeting embers of her hotness.  i will also look to see how she holds the microphone to determine if her hands are indeed curious.


one thing for sure,  gail passed down some good genes:

Gail Huff...Really?

So according to the Inside Track Gail Huff, founding member of the Channel 5 Golden Girls used to be a video vixen. She played the girl with the curious hand in the Digney Fignus video called “The Girl With The Curious Hand.”

So now when I think of Eva Mendes or that Pit Bull video I'm gonna have to also think of Gail Huff. A little piece of me dies every time.

quick takes: 7 news - 10/13/2009 60 points

victoria warren - has a story on nyc mayor mike bloomberg taking shots at his hometown of medford in his new book.  she interviews a local business owner and the mayor.  she looks as cute as can be with the day's chill adding a little rose to her cheeks.  i'm a little nervous about a rumor from dr. fever that this tractor pulls a big trailer.  i have my fingers crossed.  victoria does manage to interview a guy on the street who states that nyc has a faster paced lifestyle than medford.  wow.  how did she find a mensa meeting in medford square?  (15 hopeful points)

frances rivera - the fine filipino is indeed her fine self in red and black and makes me think of the blue oyster cult.  (25 points)

emotional interview with the mother of the kid who disappeared from in front of the garden last thursday.  she came up from north carolina hoping against hope that her son would be there by the time she arrived.  great footage.  i am hoping for the best in what will likely be an unhappy ending to this story.  (20 heavy hearted points)

Jack is King

Ya know what? Jack Williams kicks ass. He has been an anchor on Channel 4 since the early 80's and that says something. To get through all the office politics of television news. Judged on his looks as he gets older and older. A revolving door of bosses and co-anchors. The guy is a champion of local news. Yes, he is Kent Brockman's good twin. That's funny. Yes.

Tonight Steve Burton had a little coughing fit during his sports report and what does Williams do? He gets off his ass, runs over to craft services and grabs Steve some water. What a professional. Plus points 20 for Jack.

I do remember a report from some celebration at a ski place, maybe like 92/93, when Jack was called into the shot by the reporter. It was quickly evident he was loaded. Big 2/3 martini smile on his face, clearly having a fantastic day skiing. When he was called on camera he knew enough to keep his mouth shut, smile, nod and get out of there. Could have been a Joe Namath day for Jack. But instead it was back to the hot tub.

As Anchorman has stated in this blog, I'd love to kick it with Jack, Bruce Schwoegler, Lobel, and my fellow bloggers on the shores of lake Cochituate, with a full cooler, grill and hear some stories from the 80's when these guys were livin' large. Joyce Kulhawik can come by later.

Really Heather Unruh?

A black jacket with black pants? You look like a young Anakin Skywalker.

i'd have a beer with... 10/13/2009

i'd have a beer with...

...jack williams and bruce schwoegler so we could talk about all of the boozin' that went on at wbz in the early eighties.  yep  - the three of us looking out on lake cochituate pounding tall boys and hearing what the hell went on at the scotch and sirloin after hours and how joyce kulhawik never ages. 

...team blonde and linda ergas - yessiree!  it's many funnels of bud light and maybe some tequila shots before hitting the slopes kennedy-style.

...david robichaud - backed with shots of whiskey so i can get the lowdown on his days at the phantom gourmet.  specifically i want to know if all of the andelman kids speak in those silly voices and insist on using adjectives like "crazy", "wacky" and "wild" when they are off the air. 

...mike wank-um - a six pack of coors to get him to open up about any funny nicknames he had as a child. 

...bianca de la garza - a pitcher of singapore slings 'cuz she's nearly single and 'bout ready to mingle.

...lisa hughes - several bottles of wine...then everything goes blank until i wake up in d.c. and see her blowing rails off of fawn hall's belly.

at least that's how i see it.

Fox AM

VB just isn't funny. There I said it. You keep thinking he will be and he just never is. It's like sex with no payoff. He plays the role of the "Funny Guy" but never is. As for the rest;

Cindy Fitzgobbons- Shes fine. Cute but forgetable.

Gene Lavanchy-He's alright in my book. He's a guy I'd want to have a beer with.

Doug Meehan- He's a little goofy but he's OK. Give a good traffic report and good interviews with Zip Trip guests that are clearly new to the concept of TV.

Kim Carrigan- Its good she resigned herself to giving Maria the Top Dog spot on the station but it's something that bothers her to this day. The days of Kim and Randy at Channel 7 are long gone. She just seems mean.

Thats show pins all of its attractiveness on Cindy and she just can't carry that burden. I just pray for a day when Kim is out and Sara Underwood fills in. Too bad she just isn't or dosen't appear to be smart enough to carry the morning show. She makes VB the douche look witty.

Pleasant Surprise

Were I a betting man yesterday I would have bet on a Red Sox win, Patriots win and that Anne Allred and Dylan Dryer would have extended their vacation another day. Thats why I don't gamble. What a pleasant surprise that Team Blond was in full effect this morning. Good morning Anne. (Plus 10)

quick takes: 7 news - 10/10/2009 28 points

janet wu and dave kartunen are at the anchor desk tonight.

dave kartunen - tonight's suit is not helped by HD.  it's like he stumbled into my dad's old chalkline jack tripper style and canned laughter ensued.  i don't know what kind of name "kartunen" is - but when i look at dave - i suspect he's at least 25% duck. (-7 quacky points)

janet wu - she's cute as can be.  blue seems to be the color of the week.  (15 points)

michelle relerford looks fan-frigging-tastic in her banana yellow fall jacket.  good call.  with the zakim bridge in the background - michelle's got the story of the guy who disappeared after the bruins game.  while the footage with the missing kid's fiance is very sad - michelle still makes this blogger very glad.  (25 points) 

rhett lewis - first time i've seen this guy.  sounds like a bit of a goof.  good thing he reads sports and not biopsy results.  rhett has a tendency to "ridley" his script a bit (see the anchor slang section at the bottom of this page).  i think there's a cure for that.   (- 5 points)

WBZ weekend

Watching Channel 4 weekend team is like watching a high school news cast. "Hey come on over. My parents are away. We can do a news program from our basement. Then get some beer." It would actually be much more interesting if they got the beer first. Weekend anchor Dawn Hasbrouck delivers today headlines with all the passion of a lazy cat. I bet her BFFs are Data from Star Trek and Daryl from the movie D.A.R.Y.L.
The one bright spot is the always friendly and personable meteorologist Sarah Wroblewski. A local girl made good. Sara would really like you to focus on her report and you do for about a minute till your realize she is trying to draw attention away from her top notch Russ Meyer rack. As her bio says she is an avid soccer fan. You know what that means, fantastic legs as well. She just has that "cute friend of your girlfriend" look that makes you want to date her instead of your current girlfriend. "Hey Sara would you like to go camping? I've got a bag of mushrooms."
Sadly she will never make it to the weekday news because she still has the "I just woke up and in desperate need of a new hair style" look. Please Sara drop by Mediocre Cuts and push Barry Burbank into a well deserved retirement.

sorboni banerjee taking a boxing lesson. you're welcome.

quick takes: wbz - 10/09/2009 - 10 points

david wade - an underrated pro in command.  (20 points).

the 2.0-ization of local tv news continues with "conversation nation" packaged with the obama lead story.  this merits its own post at some point.

eileen curran - is sporting eva angelina's glasses (10 nasty points) and a grey industrial carpet wrapped around a tree trunk. (-5 points)

a boa constrictor "roams a neighborhood"? (- 5 points)


no eye candy (-10 points)

quick takes: 7 news - 10/08/2009 37 points

frances rivera - methinks a hairbrush must stroke the fine filipino's tresses over 1000 times a day - a commitment to excellence that's loved and respected by us at the blog.    A++ on tonight's form-fitting, dark teal-ish sweater with the ruffled front.  aye carumba!  the 7news emphasis on the standing anchor plays right into the rivera wheelhouse.   her "hip to the side" stance deserves a key to the city.  she should do well in next week's power rankings - as usual.  (30 excited points)  

kim khazei - she can read off a teleprompter deliver the news and she's technically pretty.  but she also looks like she could kick my ass - and not in the good way.  a fistful of points for tonight's suit jacket.  (7 points)

quick takes: fox 25 - 10/08/2009 40 points

maria stephanos -  the foxy franchise just said "birth control" and "breast feeding" in a span of 30 seconds.  dekova will be on cloud nine.  she's looking as fantastic as always and delivers the news with verve.  (40 big points)

jim armstrong - gimme back the 2 minutes i wasted watching your report on how people find the term "whatever" annoying. (- 5 points)

ockerboom reads the birth control story.  did i jinx it?  (-5 points)


maria gets the breast feeding story! maria gets the breast feeding story! it's all joy in blog-ville. (10 points)

quick takes: newscenter 5 - 10/08/2009 18 points

heather unruh - her uneasy banter makes me uncomfortable.  it clearly makes her uncomfortable as well.  (-5 uneasy points)

gail huff - keep up the good fight against ol' father time.  (3 points)

liz brunner - you're such hot stuff in that in that shiny blue jacket - oh yes you are. (20 points)

Crime Against Nature

I've been watching local New England news for many years and for the life of me I can't figure out why Victoria Block is still on TV. She doesn’t even have a face for newspapers let alone TV. If I were management at Channel 7 I would rather send a raw Thanksgiving day turkey that had been left out for 5 days on a warm sunny kitchen counter to do a live shot from the state house before I sent Vicki out again. There must be some rule about putting her on when kids are still watching. I'm sure dozens of kids wake up in the middle of the night with night terrors from seeing her report. I understand they give her a new hip hair style every night to distract from the rest of her face but it’s not working. I think she was mummified like 10 years ago and still, by some evil magic shows up on TV. If there is a God, or a station manager with a clue, then Vicki will be replaced by a young 25 year old brunette from Florida ASAP. Or why not just give Nicole Oliverio the stories Vicki would get.

Dr. Johnnie Fever