quick takes: 7news 1/11/2010

vicki warren - vicki has the news that tom finneran has been disbarred. (20 wallowing points)  and vicky?  she is cuter and is simply better than any reporter i watched while on the west coast.  (35 points)

joe amorosino - joe has the breaking news of mark mcgwire finally admitting to using steroids.  of course big mac's lawyers and handlers dipped in the wells of andy petitte and rodney harrison: i did it to get back with my teammates.  steroids didn't help my performance - they helped me recover from injuries.  this admission is crafted for the HOF voters.  i want a confession.  i want something along the lines of "i took steroids so i could score a big fat contract".  big mac?  big douche.  (- 583 points)  joe amorosino doesn't  lose his temper during this report. (17 points)

frances riveria -  that's a nice black dress with all those buttons.  i want to walk my fingers up and down those buttons, 1 black button, 2 black buttons, 3 black buttons...shit, how do you get chicken wing fingerprints off of an LCD?

i am having this picture of the creamy necked frances and linda ergas airbrushed to my bedroom ceiling as soon as i can convince my wife that it is an authentic, victorian detail.   

linda ergas - linda's in quincy with the story of the possibly fucked scott croscup.  the boston bruins fan is suspected of having one sledgehammer of a punch.  he's accused of punching out a couple after an argument in the govt center t station - breaking the girl's jaw and i guess fucking up the guy pretty good. (- 25 points)  apparently the police think that alcohol was involved. 

do people even go to jail for things like this anymore?  scary - i have no friggin' idea. 

thank goodness linda ergas looks like a toasty muffin this evening.  (35 points)

christa delcamp - tonight christa is telling me about a group who rescues greyhounds.  the story cites the delightful qualities of greyhounds - how they're gentle, quiet and like long walks.  the folks interviewed fail to mention that greyhounds are so friggin' tall that when you're sitting down, the greyhound is shooting its dog food farts at face level.  sadly, i'm speaking from experience. 

as for christa - tonight her lips and cheeks look, well - unnaturally plump.  overall, it's been a banner pregnancy for christa in the looks department.  i bet it's the best pregnancy she has all year.   (25 points)

kim khazei - k2 made a passing reference to hanging out with shawn thornton's family.  what the heck is going on over at 7news?

pete bouchard - the best weatherman in the city uses the word "freaky".  (5 points)

joe amorosino - redux - joe's at the garden.  a girl is practicing the national anthem in the background while joe tries to speak.  joe somehow manages not to go apeshit during his report. (23 points)

rhett lewis - patriots.  tonight rhett is sporting a shadow of a mustache that's about the closest thing i've seen to a real life durty sanchez.  (-15 points)

quick takes: 7 news at 6pm - 12/7/2009

7 news has great aerial footage from sky 7 of the house fire in new bedford augmented with some pretty good cell phone pics from viewers on the scene.  christa delcamp has a live phone interview with a neighbor on the scene.  overall, an excellent execution of integrating sky 7 and different types of viewer submitted content to cover a breaking story.  well done.  (30 points)

frances riveria - the fine filipino is in a clingy brown dress.  she looks like the world's most awesome fudgsicle.  i am totally heading to the white hen when i'm done with this post.

janet wu - the good wu is in brockton in front of a house that contains over 500 pot plants.  while nobody was in the house at the time of the raid, brockton police have lifted fingerprints off of the extensive irrigation and air conditioning systems (oops!) and expect to serve 3 arrest warrants shortly.  i am on a big time good wu kick these days. (45 green points)

the best two things about tonight newscast:  nbc reporter stephanie stanton's jugs. she is in the mojave desert covering the sir richard branson space plane story.  screw branson's space plane.  wouldn't it cheaper  and more fun to fill ms. stanton's big boobies with helium, strap yourself on and go around the world?

steve pagliuca is much fatter than i realized.

vicki warren looks 10 kinds of scrumptious in her green north face snorkel jacket. (40 points).  she's got the interview with the "purse stuck on the red line train woman".  the "purse woman" is very pretty cute (and apparently a bank VP!) now that her facial injuries have healed up a bit.  the surveillance video indicates that her face slammed the T station wall pretty hard and it's not hard to believe her when she says she lost consciousness.  vicky is interviewing both her and her attorney chuck mathers.  in the background i can hear the beep of the brinks truck backing up for a big payout for this bank VP and chuck mathers esq.  upon settlement, she will become one of the boston's most desirable women and our subway fares will double.

victoria block - vicki's in lynn with the story of 30 year old anthony gobie (sp?).  anthony is charged with 15 charges of assault with intent to murder.  nice.  mr. gobie attempted to get served at the bar of the china lion restaurant in lynn but was denied for being too intoxicated.  mr. gobie's logical response was to return to the restaurant with an ak-47 and to open fire.  a ballsy customer prevented a bloodbath by grabbing the ak-47 while it was still being fired. (50 points).  in mr. gobie's defense - he claims that he was denied service because he was white.  (-35 points).

quick takes: 7 news at 4pm - 12/3/2009

frances rivera - the fine filipino is wearing a white blouse with a high fluffy ruffled collar.  i haven't seen an outfit like this since i played the harpsichord at the whig party ball.  she looks like a member of the upper crust.  frances has a lot of trouble pronouncing "six pack" on the sopporo "space beer" story.  she does manage to say "juvenile humpback" properly.  (-15 unsexy points)

victoria warren - vicky's in lawrence with some story about embezzlement by a court clerk - to the tune of $12k a week.  i can't take my eyes off of vicky.  she's making my best of the week list for sure.  (40 points)

elin woods - i never realized how nice tiger woods' wife's breasts are.  maybe it's the kids.  (2 round points)

janet wu - the good wu is in worcester for the 10th anniversary of the warehouse fire that killed 6 firefighters.  the wind keeps blowing janet's hair gently across her cheek.  (15 points)

pill brownies? there seems to be some confusion at the columbus school in medford.  someone put pills in some brownies that were eaten by a couple of students.  jeez, i've told these kids a thousand times - put pot in the brownies...and scarf pills down like tic tacs.  as a bonus, this story has some great medford accents during the "on the street interviews".  i'm pretty sure i'd fund a museum of medford accents.

does anyone else dig the "national floors direct" chick?  she's got nicer breasts the elin woods and looks sort of like a hotter Cindy Fitzgibbon.

kim khazei - k2 says "drug fueled sex game" and "unlawful intercourse" in consecutive stories.  (30 points)

mike capuano - you will get my vote nevah, nevah, nevah.

sorboni banerjee - back in north andover as the fire dept gets to put their christmas sign back up.  after all the fuss - i was expecting a pretty sweet looking sign.  uh, nope.  hey sorboni, that is one sharp red leather jacket.   (12 days of pointage)

quick takes: 7news at 5pm - 11/19/2009 (65 points)

victoria warren - in boston with the latest on the swine flu and swine flu related deaths in massachusetts.  she looks fantastic as usual and her delivery is right on.  she didn't make my "best of" list this week because i had to watch too much friggin' wcvb.  vicky - here's a pile of points make up for it:  (45 whopping big points)

six sticks of explosives in the line painting truck that crashed this morning.  uh, what?

christa delcamp - she looks super pregnant today - and totally hot.  nice black dress and her bump is an upbeat, perfect sphere.  she has the story of the guy who killed and cut up his father...but i really don't hear a word she says.  (30 plump points)

matt lorch - has an update on the healthcare bill in washington.  i love how the republicans suddenly give a shit about the deficit.  (-10 points)

quick takes: 7news - 10/28/2009 - 60 points

christa delcamp: i'll tell you - it has been one hot pregnancy for christa.  her red dress makes her look like a yummy red wrapped lindt truffle.  unfortunately, on this day she pronounces U2 with the emphasis on the U (You-too) much like ESPN anchors pronounce UMass "U-mass".  (15 points for the hot hot hot pregnancy) 

matt lorch: apparently matt is the king of the arcane adam sandler fact.  in discussing the upcoming adam sandler flick where he dresses like a woman - matt pulls a quick reference to sandler's SNL Gap Girls sketch out of his ass. (5 points)

victoria warren: there are few sights as beautiful as vicky with a new england autumn as a backdrop.  give vicky a stand up in front of an old covered bridge and i will die happy.  i want to give her a thermos of hot chocolate and rumplemintz and a big fat doobie.  then we'd go for a walk in the woods while tossing sticks to a black lab.  uh, where was i?  today's footage includes her interviewing a guy while she's sitting on a sofa.  from this angle vicky's trailer looks just right. (15 relieved points)

frances rivera: the fine filipino in a dark brown leather dress.  oh, yes. (25 points)

quick takes: 7 news - 10/13/2009 60 points

victoria warren - has a story on nyc mayor mike bloomberg taking shots at his hometown of medford in his new book.  she interviews a local business owner and the mayor.  she looks as cute as can be with the day's chill adding a little rose to her cheeks.  i'm a little nervous about a rumor from dr. fever that this tractor pulls a big trailer.  i have my fingers crossed.  victoria does manage to interview a guy on the street who states that nyc has a faster paced lifestyle than medford.  wow.  how did she find a mensa meeting in medford square?  (15 hopeful points)

frances rivera - the fine filipino is indeed her fine self in red and black and makes me think of the blue oyster cult.  (25 points)

emotional interview with the mother of the kid who disappeared from in front of the garden last thursday.  she came up from north carolina hoping against hope that her son would be there by the time she arrived.  great footage.  i am hoping for the best in what will likely be an unhappy ending to this story.  (20 heavy hearted points)