quick takes: fox 25 news at 6 12/9/2009

mark ockerbloom: mark talks about today's mix of rain and snow as well as the ice storm that "clobbered" new england exactly one year ago.  mark says "clobbered" like andy brickley says "powah play".


sara underwood: mrs. felger is looking pretty darned good tonight.  the serious black dress totally works. (20 points) on the story about the ct. calf with the cross on its head - she mistakenly refers to the calf as a "she" a couple of times. (-10 points) she looks a bit dazed, confused and momentarily disengaged during a stand up with mark and kevin lemanowicz and also ends up having to explain her ebay joke about the "cross calf". (-5 points) sara scores points with us at the anchor with the report on german researchers announcing that beer hops can help prevent prostate cancer.  (99 foamy points)

 

erin hawksworth: today erin harksworth is erin hawtsworth as she looks hawt despite being bundled up like a little new england snow bunny.  (65 points)

erin's got the story of willian viera's internet romance gone sour.  soon after willian picked up 18 year old high school cheerleader (really?) nikita silva in his dodge intrepid it became clear to nikita that willian's intentions were a bit different than hers.  willian's plan involved condoms...and i have no idea what nikita's plan involved.  the resourceful la femme nikita averted further trouble (read: getting pawed further by viera) by calling 911 from her cell phone.  police were able to locate willian's dodge intrepid via nikita's phone's GPS on the mass pike and set up a "rolling roadblock".  seeing her opportunity for escape as the car slowed in traffic near the route 30 exit, nikita jumped out of the still moving car, spraining her ankle.  a "civilian dispatcher" monitoring the situation located viera by way of some online database.  viera was arrested at his natick home.

Holiday party, Booooo Yeah.

One of the topics of discussion at the Anchored penthouse is which station is going to have the best holiday party. So I'm going to think this through even if I think I already know.

WBZ Channel 4 - Most likely not the office blow with the accompanying inappropriate employee fraternization you want out of a holiday party. Since Randy Price got busted years ago driving the wrong way down Storrow Drive this party is a get-together and not a party. It will be at a function room at a local wedding hall or the back room at the Kawloon. On a fun scale probably a 5. It will be fine. But when Anchorman and I get there who do we hit on? If Sarah Wroblewski doesn't show then I'm taking my one hitter and calling a cab. I'll pull Anchorman away from Paula Ebben and go to the Tam.

WCVB Channel 5- We probably won't be there for very long because we will get there about 9:00 and the party will have ended at 8:30. The Golden Girls (including Ed Harding) need to get home, take their meds and sleep.

WHDH Channel 7- Now here is a party. I bet I could even get some ativan at this party. It will be some place good like Kings for a bowling party. Booze will flow like wine. Anchorman and I will sift through the wall of douchey sales guys to get to Anne Allred, Victoria Warren, Dylan Dryer or "Cupcake" Nicole Oliverio. I know we talk about how hot this "A" team of ass is but lets not forget about often overlooked Linda Ergas. She looks like she would kill and eat you after a mind blowing sexual encounter and all I can say is count me in. After the party is over we'd all get a cab back to Anne's or Dylan's place, dance and do bong hits until dawn. "Hey Anne you and Dyl want to get breakfast." I've always wanted to say that.

Fox 25- This will probably be a close second place to the Channel 7 party. Sarah Underwood would have a little to much to drink and start bad mouthing her husband Michael Felger from 98.5 The Sports Hub so he will have to take her home early. I would create a river of Captain and Diet cokes for Erin Hawksworth and Dianna Rocco. Anchorman would stumble over to Alison Bologna until he shook her huge claw like man hands. They are not just man hands they are a HUGE MAN's hands. The kind of guy who moves your piano or delivers a refrigerator to your house. He would quickly return. We would hang with Erin and Dianna until we eventually start a fight with the always condescending prick VB. "Come on Erin and Dianna lets get out of here." They would stay. They are right to do so.

So it looks like Fox 25 and WHDH 7 are in a tie for best party.  The deciding factor is VB. Any party he is at is a party I will not be at.  Sorry Erin. See you there Anne.